When Parents Separate
When parents separate, home can feel upside down. Use this my changing family worksheet with a grown-up you trust to name your big feelings, write down your questions, and remember that none of this is your fault.
Your family is changing shape
When parents separate or divorce, it means they have decided not to live together anymore. That is a very big change, and big changes can shake everything up for a while. Here is something important: your family is not ending. It is changing shape. You still have a family - it just might live in more than one home now. Lots and lots of kids go through this. You are not the only one, even if it feels that way.
It is not your fault
Read this part twice, because it matters most: your parents' separation is not your fault. Not even a little bit. Separation happens because of grown-up problems between grown-ups. Nothing you said, did, thought, or wished made it happen. And no amount of perfect behavior or good grades could have stopped it - because it was never about you. Parents separate from each other. They do not separate from their kids. Both of your parents can stop being together and still love you completely.
Feelings I have been having
All feelings are allowed here - even ones that seem weird or opposite. Check every feeling you have had lately.
My worry meter today
How worried are you feeling today? There is no wrong number. Showing your number to a grown-up is a brave way to start talking.
What stays the same
Even when a lot is changing, a lot is not changing. Your parents' love for you stays. Maybe your school, your friends, your team, your pet, and the things you are good at stay too. Make a list of things in your life that are staying the same.
Questions I want to ask
It is okay to ask questions - even hard ones. Kids often wonder: Where will I live? Who will take me to school? What happens on my birthday? Can I still see my cousins and grandparents? Write down your questions here. When you are ready, you can show this list to a parent or another grown-up.
My trusted grown-ups
Who are two or three grown-ups you can talk to when your feelings get big? They can be family, teachers, coaches, or counselors.
Taking care of me
When feelings get really big, these things can help. Check the ones you want to try this week.
One thing I want my parents to know
If you could tell your parents one thing about how all of this feels for you, what would it be? You get to choose what happens with your answer. You can share it, or keep it private. Both are okay.
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