Toward Away Moves

This ACT values worksheet turns a simple compass on your week: which actions moved you toward the life you want, and which moved you away from discomfort instead. Sort your real behavior, then design three deliberate toward moves.

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One question instead of a verdict

ACT - acceptance and commitment therapy - swaps "was that good or bad?" for a more useful question: did that move me toward the life I want, or away from something I didn't want to feel? Toward moves take you in the direction of your values even when they are uncomfortable: the honest conversation, the workout, the application you finally sent. Away moves buy relief from discomfort: scrolling, cancelling, numbing, going quiet. The relief is real, which is exactly why away moves are so easy to repeat.

Away moves are not character flaws

Everyone makes away moves every day. A nervous system that dodges pain is doing its job; the skill here is noticing, not never doing it. Note that the same behavior can point either way depending on what it is doing for you. A quiet night in can be genuine rest - a toward move - or a way of hiding from a call you are dreading. Only you can tell the difference, and the tell is usually what you were feeling right before you chose it.

The life you're steering toward

In a sentence or two, what does "toward" mean for you right now? Use values words - the kind of person you want to be - rather than achievements.

Sort a week of real behavior

List six to eight things you actually did this past week - ordinary ones count. Mark each with T for toward or A for away. For each away move, add a few words about what it bought you in the moment: relief, escape, numbness, safety.

Your most common away moves

Check the away moves that show up most often for you. Naming them makes them far easier to catch mid-move.

Scrolling or streaming long past the point of enjoying itCancelling plans, then feeling relieved and lonely at onceDrinking, smoking, or eating to switch a feeling offStaying busy with small tasks to dodge the one that mattersSaying yes when I mean no, to skip the awkward momentSnapping or going cold instead of saying what actually hurtReplaying conversations in my head instead of having the real oneWorking late so I don't have to sit with what's underneath

Your week on the compass

Taken as a whole, which way did this week point? There is no passing score. This is a compass reading, not a grade.

1 · Mostly away10 · Mostly toward

Design three deliberate toward moves

Choose three toward moves for the coming week. Make each one small, specific, and tied to a value you named earlier - and expect discomfort to come along for the ride. A toward move usually feels harder before it feels better.

Reflection

Look back over your sorted week before you close.

Values Clarification

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