Relationship Green Flags
Red flags get all the attention, but relationship green flags - repair after conflict, respected boundaries, reliability, shared joy - are how you recognize relationships worth investing in. Use this worksheet to spot them in one relationship and notice which ones you bring.
Why green flags matter
Most of us are well trained at scanning for red flags. Warning signs get the articles, the checklists, and the late-night conversations with friends. The markers of a healthy relationship get far less airtime, partly because they are quieter. Green flags rarely announce themselves. They look like a text sent when promised, a disagreement that ends warmly, a no that is simply accepted. Healthy relating often feels uneventful, and uneventful is easy to undervalue. Learning to notice green flags does two things. It shows you which relationships deserve more of your time and trust, and it gives you a clear picture of what to practice yourself.
Four markers worth watching
Repair after conflict. Every close relationship has friction. The marker of health is not the absence of arguments but what happens next: someone circles back, owns their share, and the connection comes out intact. Respect for boundaries. When you say no, it is heard the first time. There is no sulking, guilt-tripping, or quiet punishment afterward. Reliability. They do what they said they would do, most of the time, including the small things. Trust is built almost entirely out of tiny kept promises. Mutual celebration. When something goes well for you, they are genuinely glad. How someone greets your good news says at least as much as how they handle your bad news.
Pick one relationship to look at
This works for any close relationship: a partner, friend, sibling, or someone you rely on. Choose one to keep in mind for the rest of this worksheet.
Green flags you can spot
Thinking about the relationship you named, check what shows up regularly - not on the best day ever, but as a pattern.
Rate the overall pattern
Considering the last few months as a whole, how consistently do these green flags show up in this relationship? Rate the pattern, not the single best or worst day.
The evidence, in moments
Write about one or two recent moments where a green flag showed up in action. Then note anything you looked for and did not find. Gaps are information, not verdicts - some simply point to a conversation worth having.
The green flags you bring
Healthy relating is something you offer, not just something you receive. Which green flag do you bring most reliably, and which one could use practice?
Before you go
Look back over what you checked and wrote.
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