Anger Diary
A simple anger log you can repeat for every episode: what happened, how hot it got, what you did, what it cost, and what you'd try next time - so your patterns show up within a week.
Why keep an anger diary
Memory is a poor historian of anger. A day later the story has usually been edited: the other person's part grows, your part shrinks, and the details that could teach you something fade. An anger log captures episodes while they are fresh, before the editing starts. You are not logging to judge yourself. You are collecting data, and after a week of honest entries, patterns tend to appear that no single episode could show you.
How to use this diary
Fill out one entry per episode, ideally within a few hours, once you have cooled down enough to think straight. Keep it short and honest - a rough entry you actually write beats a perfect one you skip. After several entries, use the last section to step back and look for repeats: the same trigger, the same time of day, the same cost showing up again and again. That bird's-eye view is where the diary pays off.
What happened
Just the facts of this episode: when it was, where you were, who was involved, and what set it off.
How hot did it get?
Rate the peak intensity of this episode.
What did you do?
Check everything that was part of how you handled it - the helpful moves and the ones you are less proud of. Both belong in the data.
What did it cost?
Every episode has a price, even the justified ones. What did this one cost you - in the relationship, at work, in time, or in how you felt about yourself afterward?
What would you try next time?
If the same moment arrived tomorrow, what is one thing you would do differently? Keep it small and specific.
After a week: your patterns
Once you have logged several episodes, read them back to back and write down what repeats.
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